Working out: Benefits in a lifestyle choice

"Work out for no one else, but yourself, and to stay healthy." I wrote this quote, encompassing my belief surrounding fitness.

Working out is a personal lifestyle choice, one that benefits you, both physically and mentally alike. There are many reasons why you'd want to stay in the best shape possible, but the number one reason should be, because staying healthy is at the top of your list.

In my opinion, exercising has been pushed onto society to achieve a certain look that will fit in, but life isn't about fitting in, it's about standing out. The truth of the matter is that an individual's personality makes them stand out, apart from others. I believe the emphasis shouldn't be put on needing to work out to achieve this perfect body, but to be the healthiest you can be at the forefront, which coincidentally will constantly be improving one's personality outlook.

There is a quote that I like, written by Kaushal Kishore, "Beauty fades away with time, but character remains forever. You don't have to live with beauty but the character." - This enhances my point.

Many people snicker if someone says what's on the inside is what matters - having a good personality. A rebuttal might be that the attraction is what you can see. True, looks always play a part in attraction, creating an initial chemistry, but physical will not create long-lasting feelings.

These are reasons why I wrote, "Work out for no one else, but yourself, and to stay healthy." This lifestyle choice is meant to be a personal want, and not to conform to what others want.

From my book, Desires through the Eyes of Life, I wrote a poem steaming from this theme:

Skin Deep

No matter what people say,

No matter how cruel,

It's just the way you are

The love radiates from you.

It's your tool.

Beauty is only skin deep.

It's how comfortable you are.

Beauty is only so deep.

It's your skin.

Don't let another speak.

We're all different.

All shapes and sizes.

Who is anyone to tell you

Where your beauty lies in?

You're beautiful.

Not just skin deep.

You're incredible

In every single way.

Always take that leap.

Who cares about what others think.

Beauty is only skin deep.

You're remarkable.

Who are you to pin me,

As the target?

What you make of it.

I am beautiful.

Anyone’s perfect fit.

Beauty is only skin deep,

Personified by your looks,

From your head down to your feet.

Who are you to judge me?

Then try and make me.

Haven't you heard?

The world can't forsake me.

I lead with heart in every single way.

That's just my due.

Don't tell me how to be me.

You may, only if I give you the cue.

It's truly what's on the inside that counts, but staying in the best shape you can supports a healthier longevity, so you'll be around a lot longer to grace others with your beautiful soul. Your loved ones will thank you also for this lifestyle choice.

Speaking more to the mentally beneficial side of exercising, the time taken out for staying fit is a mental break from everything else in your life. Giving space to just concentrate on you. Your mind, body, and spirit will thrive, feeling energized and powerful. Exerting energy in working out also gives your mind the opportunity to release accumulated stress from the busyness of everyday. It's also important to remember that getting out in the fresh air does a world of good for an overall healthy feeling. Try to find an opportunity in the week to take a walk, go swimming, play a sport - do something you enjoy outdoors.

How to achieve a workout routine for even the busiest of schedules.

Part of this blog post is to share what works for me in my hectic everyday life of being an author, mother, wife, daughter, and all the extra things I do in between. I know countless people can relate to the hustle and bustle of a busy schedule, but not to worry, you can still stay in shape and be healthy - mind and body - integrated in your daily routine.

FitOn App:

I want to start off by saying that in no way, shape, or form, am I being paid to advertise/sponsor for the company that I will be sharing today. My only purpose is to spread what I've found works for me, and to try to keep us all feeling our best.

During the covid shut down I came across an app for fitness - the FitOn app. It's free to download with having countless workout sessions to choose from, given by workout trainers, all routines that can be done at home.

Honestly, I have never been a gym person anyway. I always would rather save the time in driving, and exercise for longer at home. Sure, I didn't have all the fancy equipment that gyms provide, but I've had weights, a medicine ball, workout bands, etc. They've worked great for me and my body goals.

When I started to use the FitOn app I quickly learned that I can be just as efficient with staying in shape at home as in the gym. A lot of fitness goals are reachable, because it's all in the use of your time. There's a key phrase FitOn trainers say that I like, and that is you can always make your body weight work for you in any workout. The use of a band, dumbbells, etc. only heightens your results. I love choosing routines anywhere from 7 to 25 minutes, for whatever my schedule will allow for that day, because I've also learned that it's not necessarily how long you work out, it's how you utilize your time. Bonus, the FitOn trainers make your sessions fun and engaging, feeling as though you have relatable support all the way around.

I enjoy workout sessions from multiple trainers, but I do have a personal favorite - Kenta. I repeat many of his workouts weekly anywhere from strength to legs to getting my steps in for the day. He is funny, motivating, and very easy to follow through the movements. Everyone will eventually gravitate to their favorite trainer through repetition but will enjoy staying in shape with them all!

Here are just a few examples you'll have to choose from with the FitOn app:

Physical Wellness: Strength, Toning, Cardio, Dance, Yoga, Pilates, Abs, Arms, Legs, Stretching, Prenatal, Postnatal

Mental Wellness: Meditation, Breathing Exercises, Self-Care, Emotion-Awareness

Try to also tie in the outdoors with a workout. Take your device in the backyard, or on your deck. If it's a nice day out, enjoy some fresh air with your fitness routine.

One of my favorite things about FitOn is that the whole theme behind the trainer's workouts is to emphasize how exercising is to achieve an overall physically and mentally healthy goal (perfect fitness combination), which is what I was saying earlier in this blog - the direction I believe society should be heading in.

Also to mention again, this app is free, which, with prices raising for everything these days, we could all use a little reprieve with something we want to do. Especially when it involves a healthier lifestyle.

Cheers to staying healthy and strong in life - physically and mentally!

Staying successfully motivated: It's all in a mindset

"Through passion and desire, anything in life is possible." - I wrote this quote, and attach it to almost everything I do, because if you think about it, they both are behind anyone who is successful. Whether the success is mainly in their career, or personal lives, or both - passion and desire fuel success.

Staying on track with your visions and life goals is not easy. Even the most determined and successful people get taken off course by one thing or another, but those individuals will always find their way back by holding fast to their visions and beliefs, and most importantly, sticking to a positive mindset.

Life happens, with throwing curveballs, but it's how you bounce back from those obstacles. Take the time needed to go through the necessary emotions, because that's only being human, then find a way to concentrate on moving forward, better than ever. I've found that choosing different life choices from time to time is imperative to keep being your best self and continue to grow. I believe in, everything happens for a reason, even if the reason isn't obvious or doesn't make sense at the moment, sometimes making a change is a necessity to keep your passion alive. Always remember, just by trying your best, and giving it your all, makes you a success in more ways than one.

If you're feeling in a rut or can't seem to find the motivation you need to get back on track, try some of these life changes:

• Change your eating habits (Better food choices/better eating schedule)

• Develop a personal workout routine (Anything can fit in the busiest of schedules - make "me time" for physical health)

• Take 5 minutes for meditation (Clearing the mind really can help you focus better)

• Re-evaluate your friend choices (You really do become who you spend time with - people come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime)

• Re-evaluate your job (Is your job a steppingstone to achieve what you want, or is it hindering you? Can you find a better pathway to your goal?)

• Make a list of what you love to do - ignite your passion and desire in life (See how you can integrate those things into a career, social hobby, and recreation)

• Mindset: You can't make everyone happy (If you try, you will end up being the unhappy one)

• Mindset: Take care of yourself, because if you don't how are you supposed to take care of others.

We are all creative souls in one way or another, so take that creativity and design ways to keep a positive mindset travelling on the road of success.

There is one topic that I want to bring up to be mindful of in your daily life: social media usage.

In my opinion the number one modern-day denominator of sometimes being negatively sidetracked from your successful mindset is social media. The trollers, hateful comments, fake accounts, and sometimes fake posts, largely account for negative thoughts, even depressive ones. With addictive social media scrolling constantly on the rise, daily misperceptions of reality also increase. This is where finding the ability to be able to separate reality from screen time is crucial.

However, social media does have its amazing attributes. Helpful information can reach millions across the country and world in a matter of a couple minutes, especially in the event of a crisis. Ways of learning how to do new things is readily out there. You can stay connected to people who live far away that you don't get to see often. My personal favorite is for those who feel like if they're alone in a certain situation are able to find relatability through social media, and mostly through strangers who they otherwise would have never met. I've found comfort this way more than once.

The key to staying motivated in today's modern-day society is honestly to find it within yourself to focus on your passion and desire in real-time and know how to differentiate between the useful and not-so-useful social media posts. Concentrate on what drives you to success and not what blocks it.

Part of the motivation behind this blog is from a specific chapter I wrote in Laughing Out of Context: Chapter 22 - Mom Social Media Envious, the excerpt below is from that chapter to emphasize the importance of separating screen time from real-life time:

“Last week, I commented on a Facebook post from an acquaintance I know through Kristin. You know Kristin in our mom’s group.”

Ella does a slow nod.

“Her mom friend, Ruby, has become a mutual friend of ours, just through Facebook. Ruby was commenting on her own glamorous party picture from when she went out on a girl’s night, dancing. She then started going back and forth with another mom. I didn’t know the other lady. Ruby was arguing about how all us moms should be going out and glamming up, and—”

“Oh no, she didn’t,” Ella interrupts me. “See that’s why I don’t like social media, Mia.” She throws her hands above her head. “It’s unrealistic.”

“I couldn’t agree more. Normally, I don’t argue with anyone online, especially not knowing the person personally, but I felt I had to. Ruby was making this other mom, Trisha was her name, feel bad because she has no time to go out and party.”

“Like what parent really does?” Ella says with annoyance kicking in. She lets out a guffaw. “So, what made you bring out the Teacher Savior thing?”

“When Ruby started trying to belittle me for sticking up for Trisha, I wrote that I am the Teacher Savior at my school, proving that she can’t bring me down.”

Ella bursts out laughing. “You finally used the title, and let it go to your head a little bit.” She continues to laugh. “Well, in this instance anyway. What’s funny is that this Ruby doesn’t even know what a Teacher Savior is, since it’s a made up title.”

I make a funny face and shrug my shoulders, because I know she’s right.

“I love that you stood up for Trisha, though, but you see how people argue online, and they don’t even know who they’re arguing with. There’s a reason online bullying and trolling is so big these days. They find it easy to go after someone without having to face them in person.”

She shakes her head side to side, angry. Her shiny black Egyptian Goddess hair and tan skin glisten against the sunlight pouring in through the window at our table. Somehow, even Mad Ella seems to keep her elegant composure.

I don’t know how she does it. When I’m mad, I get all beet-red and huffy. My blood pressure rises, making me feel like lava is flowing throughout my veins. I strive to be more like Ella, and keep myself composed, for the most part, which will do me a world of good.

“I know, it’s terrible,” I reply, shaking my head too.

“Well, don’t go making this a habit with getting someone all riled up, because you’re sticking up for a random person, you don’t even know, online. I don’t want to have to find someone and tell them off for messing with you.”

She reaches across the table and pats my hand, then chuckles. “Besides, you don’t even know if that individual you’re defending is real. Fake accounts are made all the time, just to create drama situations.”

I sharply nod. “You’re right, because in the school group I started for anti cyber bullying, that exact thing happened to Mrs. Write. She shared her experience with a group of fifth graders. Some hacker actually made a fake account using her info, but with a slight change.”

Ella closes her eyes and sighs. “See, things like that happen all the time. I’ve broken away from social media a lot lately. Besides, it was getting to a point of distracting me from Marcus.”

“Yeah, me too. After that Ruby incident, I realized more of a break was needed, and that type of aggravation takes my mind away from Cody too.”

With all the scams and impersonal communication in the mix these days, we need to do our best to stay grounded and concentrated on the positives within our in-person connections and life. Filter through posts, and online sources, to pay attention to the good ones for you. Not to mention, like in the excerpt above, find it within yourself not to compare your life routine to another's posted on social media. Everyone has their trials and tribulations, ups and downs, even though they may not post about it, they have challenges like everyone else. Never forget that.

To add on to my point, I like to repeat something Raymond says from the show Everybody Loves Raymond, “Editing. Keep the good ones.” This was the theme of his best man's speech at his brother’s wedding, which had a lot of unpleasant moments/unplanned hiccups on that day. Raymond was referring to editing out the not pleasant memories and to hold on to the good memories of the day.

A strong message and lesson: Editing of life.

Keep the good ones.

Just as others may edit to say and show things that might not be naturally in true form, you can edit your mindset in life to keep motivation going. 

Stay positive, and never let go of a vision and dream, passion and desire, because this is your life to live, and no one else's.

May success follow you through all opened doors!

A message: For my first-time, soon-to-be, parents

I love the saying: Raising children is the biggest challenge you will ever have, and the biggest blessing you will ever receive. There is no truer statement than this.

I always knew growing up that I wanted to be a mother someday. Observing life around me showed that raising children didn't look easy, but that was a trajectory path I wanted to be on. After getting married at 28, the next soon-to-be step I planned for was having a child, and that I did. I had my son at 29. Excited and glowing, my baby was coming!

There's one lesson I wanted to share that I learned while pregnant, and that is you can't listen to everyone who wants to put their two cents in. There is a lot of helpful comments and advice given, but there's also a good amount of negative and not so helpful input. I learned to always consider the source and the moment.

I remember one day when I was seven months pregnant a co-worker of mine (mother of two) vented of how hard it is with raising kids.

"You are going to have the toughest time. Pull out your hair. Not be happy on most days," she said to me, going on and on, getting madder by the second. I pretty much sat looking at her like I was in some sort of trance. Her words drowned into the background as her mouth kept moving. Only angry words spewed out. Not one thing positive.

As I stared at her, I got a little scared thinking, what the heck did I get myself into? And for a minute I completely got into my head with thoughts going a million miles an hour.

Good thing I snapped out of it, because I realized she was just having a bad day and projecting it onto me. Not fair, but it happens, and it's up to everyone to decide how they react. I was happy having a baby, having always planned for this moment, and I returned to being excited. Lesson learned, and message to first-time, soon-to-be parents: We can't take everything everyone says to heart and so seriously, because the only ones who will lose out in the end are ourselves. It's up to each individual to decipher what's helpful for them, which is actually true in all areas of life anyway.

Yes, parenting is very challenging, and some of the emotions my co-worker had said to me that day are true, but none of that cancels out the fact of experiencing the abundance of feeling overjoyed and blessed everyday of my life. Also adding, the insurmountable love you will have for your child compares to no other love you've felt before. This is the idea I took with me when writing Laughing Out of Context. While my book is about all the trials and tribulations of raising children, it is also about finding the laughable moments to help lighten stressed moods, not to mention feeling every heartwarming emotion along the way - a great read for first-time parents to become aware and also a little prepared for their son or daughter who's about to be born. I say "a little" prepared, because no one can ever fully prepare for becoming a parent. You learn as you go. No scenario is the same, similar, but never the same. Each child is different. Every stage of growing up is different. But, as I like to always say, "Times will change, but the game of growing up remains the same."

If you are a first-time, soon-to-be parent feeling nervous and maybe a bit scared, rest assured it's completely normal. Everyone has fears going into parenting. I certainly did, as well as countless others. I hadn't changed one diaper prior to having my son or even babysat a younger cousin of mine when growing up, so I had absolutely no idea of how to take care of a baby. The thoughts terrified me, but oddly enough, at the same time I was thrilled. Even better yet, when my son was born, my maternal instincts kicked in and I somehow knew what to do - a miracle all the way around.

The emotions of being terrified and thrilled (and so much more) never actually go away, pre-birth and post-birth, but hey, you're not alone. We're all in this parenting world together, here to support and relate. Salute and praise. Stay as close as you can with family. Join parent groups on social media. Find mommy (or daddy) and me play areas. Or simply just go to the park and strike up a conversation with other parents. Support can be endless.

No matter what age your child is you will be constantly at full attention, having sporadic worrisome thoughts of what could go wrong, yet simultaneously you'll always be overjoyed with love. Although, this may all sound odd, it will completely make sense when your child comes into this world, and you become a parent. Expanding your family is priceless.

Congratulations on your soon-to-be blessing!