They're listening: Kids pay attention even when you think they don't

"Little pitchers have big ears." This is a line that always stood out to me from the iconic show I Love Lucy. Lucy's mom was referring to little Ricky, Lucy's son, and how children listen to everything we say.

Now, I know what you all are thinking. "My child doesn't listen to anything I say. I have to repeat myself a million times (slightly exaggerating, but not really) and my child still won't remember me saying something. What do you mean...they listen?"

Believe me, I'm right alongside with you. What I mean, is they are listening to what you're talking about, and seeing what you're doing. They just choose to either pretend not to hear what you've said, choose to acknowledge what was said/or asked, and simply refuse to do it, or my personal favorite, they're so preoccupied by playing that your words simply go in one ear and out the other. All in all, it basically comes down to selective hearing - choosing what they want to hear.

There's a scenario I would have like to shed some light on (and giggles) that didn't make it into Laughing Out of Context in time, and it's a good one to know - kids are watching and listening to your every move, even when you think they're not.

One day my cousin and his wife noticed a charge on their credit card statement that neither of them made. It was for three-hundred dollars from Roblox. They knew their eight-year-old daughter played a little Roblox on my cousin's computer (one of them was with her a lot of the times when she was playing), so they thought someone may have hacked into their personal information or something using that IP address.

So that night him and his wife sat down and talked with their daughter, letting her know she wouldn't be able to play on Roblox for a while till they figured out what was going on with a charge that was made to their credit card, from Roblox. My cousin's intro to their conversation was cut short by a completely unforeseen situation.

"I put your card number in to get Robux," she said.

"What?" My cousin's wife practically shrieked.

"I see you putting your card number in the computer all the time, and you just get stuff sent to you," their daughter explained, obviously very innocent in the matter. "All you have to do is give the number, right? And you get want you want..." she trailed off, quietly. Seeing her parent's shocked expressions, she knew she did something bad.

My cousin and his wife both looked at each other in disbelief, realizing eyes had been on them with the credit card buying process, but failed in thinking they needed to bring up how using a card works.

"I put all the numbers into the computer that I see you do, so I can get Robux, that I wanted," she explained. "I just went to the checkout screen. It was easy. Like when you do it."

My cousin told me it seemed like forever that him and his wife blankly stared at her, both wondering the same thing of, when had she been watching them buy things online. And how in the world did she know what all the fields meant when filling out the checkout screen.

"I needed to get assets for the game," she added, very business-like, as my cousin described it. Clearly, she took the game seriously.

They had to thoroughly explain how it worked when making purchases with a credit card, and that it's not really a magic card, as she had referred to it. "Just show the number and people want to give you things," she had said in awe, looking up, smiling.

Both him and his wife weren't upset, especially seeing how bad their daughter felt. She's a good kid, a really good kid, and buying things with her parent's money without permission, isn't something she'd knowingly do.

Not just they know that, but I do too.

Although, they did work in their conversation about not taking anything out of her mother's purse without asking permission, moving forward.

After the fact, my cousin told me that him and his wife ended up laughing about the whole situation later, because they wouldn't have believed it if it didn't happen to them. Their daughter simply thought she was sharing in the "magic" card fun.

Unimaginable, the little situations that arise, which parents would have never thought possible.

This was a Mama Mia (mom from Laughing Out of Context) hand-slap-to-the-forehead moment. An I-never-would've-seen-this-coming moment. Above all, a financial-parenting-lesson-learned moment. In my cousin and his wife's case...a three-hundred-dollar lesson learned.

In conclusion to this scenario, basically, stay alert at all times, you never know when your children are watching (and if they're not watching, they're listening), and remember to keep that hypothetical detective hat close by at all times.

May the force be with you in bobbing and weaving through all unordinary parenthood scenarios - you got this!

Don't sweat the small stuff: Little things add up quickly

God grant me the serenity

to accept the things I cannot change;

courage to change the things I can;

And the wisdom to know the difference.

This is the beginning of the Serenity Prayer, and something my grandmother used to always recite to me. As a reminder to let certain things go, and not to stress about situations you have no control over. Basically, choose your battles, and lighten your mental load.

Easier said than done, I know.

There's one post I shared on social media about being grateful for the small things. It really made me think of how us as individuals sweat the small stuff, when in reality, we should alter our thinking to spend our time being appreciative of those things, instead of stressed.

Post:

10 Signs You're Doing Well in Life:

1 - You have a roof over your head

2 - You ate today

3 - You have a good heart

4 - You wish good for others

5 - You have clean water

6 - Someone cares for you

7 - You strive to be better

8 - You have clean clothes

9 - You have a dream

10 - You're breathing

It's hard in today's day and age to be patient, stop and smell the roses (so to speak), and concentrate on the bigger picture. Being the world is now in a technology forward way of life, with no looking back, we're constantly faced with newer and faster ways to live out our daily routines. It's easy to stress when something doesn't go right, or the internet is lagging, because basically we depend on technology, so then our normal everyday duties come to have a downward domino effect. Resulting in sweating the small stuff, because essentially, the tiny situations become bigger.

When I start to feel overwhelmed from circumstances that I know shouldn't be made into something larger than they need to be, I'll look back at my "feeling grateful" post. Remind myself of the entire picture of life, and create that moment to stop and appreciate the simple things that easily are taken for granted. On another note, when faced with times of larger situations, I think back to my grandmother and what she would recite from the Serenity Prayer, making sure I prioritize what needs more mental attention.

Speaking to parents now, what parent doesn't need to lighten their mental load in some area of their life? I know I sure do. Us moms, especially, take on the worrisome truck load for everyone. We feel it's our duty in a way. Even though, it's not, our minds spin a million miles an hour throughout the day, more so when we're not paying attention by focusing on any one thing. Having an overload of compassion, caring, and anything needing (emotional) attention, I think, is just naturally wired in a woman's DNA.

For everyone, a mental stress-reliever is needed, you just need to find what works for you. Maybe it's a quick breathing exercise. Slowly inhale through your nose (count to five), then slowly exhale through your mouth (count to five) - repeat until you feel more relaxed. Maybe your mental break is a walk, a trip to the gym, or a workout session by using the FitOn app I've blogged about.

All of these have worked for me, including...

An unexpected thought process came to light one night when my son was teaching me about space. He showed me a size comparison video (attached below - a must-watch!) about our solar system and universe. This had my full attention in realizing how tiny we actually are in the grand scheme of things - space in its infinite entirety. Making me become aware of how minuet stressing about fairly irrelevant situations are, putting life in perspective.

In my parenting humor book Laughing Out of Context I emphasize the importance of picking and choosing your battles, in all things in life, not just parenting. Reiterating to myself and my readers to not sweat the small stuff and to put matters you can't control to the side, temporarily (depending on what they are).

We are a speck on Earth, that is a speck in the Milky Way, that is a speck in the universe. Don't sweat the small stuff, letting those things consume your life. Make your time count. Make the most of your days. And stay positive however much you can, appreciating the little things.

Food for thought...

There's a great line in one of Pitbull's songs, I Feel Good: "So live life, don't let it live you."

May you shine bright through any challenges you're faced with, and have the strength and courage to change anything you can.

Wishing you the most with living life to the fullest and stressing a little less!

Working out: Benefits in a lifestyle choice

"Work out for no one else, but yourself, and to stay healthy." I wrote this quote, encompassing my belief surrounding fitness.

Working out is a personal lifestyle choice, one that benefits you, both physically and mentally alike. There are many reasons why you'd want to stay in the best shape possible, but the number one reason should be, because staying healthy is at the top of your list.

In my opinion, exercising has been pushed onto society to achieve a certain look that will fit in, but life isn't about fitting in, it's about standing out. The truth of the matter is that an individual's personality makes them stand out, apart from others. I believe the emphasis shouldn't be put on needing to work out to achieve this perfect body, but to be the healthiest you can be at the forefront, which coincidentally will constantly be improving one's personality outlook.

There is a quote that I like, written by Kaushal Kishore, "Beauty fades away with time, but character remains forever. You don't have to live with beauty but the character." - This enhances my point.

Many people snicker if someone says what's on the inside is what matters - having a good personality. A rebuttal might be that the attraction is what you can see. True, looks always play a part in attraction, creating an initial chemistry, but physical will not create long-lasting feelings.

These are reasons why I wrote, "Work out for no one else, but yourself, and to stay healthy." This lifestyle choice is meant to be a personal want, and not to conform to what others want.

From my book, Desires through the Eyes of Life, I wrote a poem steaming from this theme:

Skin Deep

No matter what people say,

No matter how cruel,

It's just the way you are

The love radiates from you.

It's your tool.

Beauty is only skin deep.

It's how comfortable you are.

Beauty is only so deep.

It's your skin.

Don't let another speak.

We're all different.

All shapes and sizes.

Who is anyone to tell you

Where your beauty lies in?

You're beautiful.

Not just skin deep.

You're incredible

In every single way.

Always take that leap.

Who cares about what others think.

Beauty is only skin deep.

You're remarkable.

Who are you to pin me,

As the target?

What you make of it.

I am beautiful.

Anyone’s perfect fit.

Beauty is only skin deep,

Personified by your looks,

From your head down to your feet.

Who are you to judge me?

Then try and make me.

Haven't you heard?

The world can't forsake me.

I lead with heart in every single way.

That's just my due.

Don't tell me how to be me.

You may, only if I give you the cue.

It's truly what's on the inside that counts, but staying in the best shape you can supports a healthier longevity, so you'll be around a lot longer to grace others with your beautiful soul. Your loved ones will thank you also for this lifestyle choice.

Speaking more to the mentally beneficial side of exercising, the time taken out for staying fit is a mental break from everything else in your life. Giving space to just concentrate on you. Your mind, body, and spirit will thrive, feeling energized and powerful. Exerting energy in working out also gives your mind the opportunity to release accumulated stress from the busyness of everyday. It's also important to remember that getting out in the fresh air does a world of good for an overall healthy feeling. Try to find an opportunity in the week to take a walk, go swimming, play a sport - do something you enjoy outdoors.

How to achieve a workout routine for even the busiest of schedules.

Part of this blog post is to share what works for me in my hectic everyday life of being an author, mother, wife, daughter, and all the extra things I do in between. I know countless people can relate to the hustle and bustle of a busy schedule, but not to worry, you can still stay in shape and be healthy - mind and body - integrated in your daily routine.

FitOn App:

I want to start off by saying that in no way, shape, or form, am I being paid to advertise/sponsor for the company that I will be sharing today. My only purpose is to spread what I've found works for me, and to try to keep us all feeling our best.

During the covid shut down I came across an app for fitness - the FitOn app. It's free to download with having countless workout sessions to choose from, given by workout trainers, all routines that can be done at home.

Honestly, I have never been a gym person anyway. I always would rather save the time in driving, and exercise for longer at home. Sure, I didn't have all the fancy equipment that gyms provide, but I've had weights, a medicine ball, workout bands, etc. They've worked great for me and my body goals.

When I started to use the FitOn app I quickly learned that I can be just as efficient with staying in shape at home as in the gym. A lot of fitness goals are reachable, because it's all in the use of your time. There's a key phrase FitOn trainers say that I like, and that is you can always make your body weight work for you in any workout. The use of a band, dumbbells, etc. only heightens your results. I love choosing routines anywhere from 7 to 25 minutes, for whatever my schedule will allow for that day, because I've also learned that it's not necessarily how long you work out, it's how you utilize your time. Bonus, the FitOn trainers make your sessions fun and engaging, feeling as though you have relatable support all the way around.

I enjoy workout sessions from multiple trainers, but I do have a personal favorite - Kenta. I repeat many of his workouts weekly anywhere from strength to legs to getting my steps in for the day. He is funny, motivating, and very easy to follow through the movements. Everyone will eventually gravitate to their favorite trainer through repetition but will enjoy staying in shape with them all!

Here are just a few examples you'll have to choose from with the FitOn app:

Physical Wellness: Strength, Toning, Cardio, Dance, Yoga, Pilates, Abs, Arms, Legs, Stretching, Prenatal, Postnatal

Mental Wellness: Meditation, Breathing Exercises, Self-Care, Emotion-Awareness

Try to also tie in the outdoors with a workout. Take your device in the backyard, or on your deck. If it's a nice day out, enjoy some fresh air with your fitness routine.

One of my favorite things about FitOn is that the whole theme behind the trainer's workouts is to emphasize how exercising is to achieve an overall physically and mentally healthy goal (perfect fitness combination), which is what I was saying earlier in this blog - the direction I believe society should be heading in.

Also to mention again, this app is free, which, with prices raising for everything these days, we could all use a little reprieve with something we want to do. Especially when it involves a healthier lifestyle.

Cheers to staying healthy and strong in life - physically and mentally!