Beyond the book's bio: Connecting my writing to me

"Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing is going to get better. It's not."

~ The Lorax, a Dr. Suess book, made movie.

This quote is the core of this particular blog and represents the seriousness of the idea behind my writing in general. But first, a few fun facts about me...

I was born and raised in the San Francisco Bay Area, California. Moving a total of twelve times when I was younger, I also have lived in the states of Ohio and Hawaii. I’m an only child and come from a long line of military servicemen. God Bless our service men and women of the United States Military! Growing up I always loved to travel, do anything outdoors, dance, discover my next favorite movie, and my best-loved being cars and animals, I developed a life-long devotion for both. Wanting to know the ins and outs with cars and surrounding myself with a variety of animals, continuously wanting to learn more. I've had everything from rabbits to birds, lizards to fish, dogs to horses, my personal favorite being - horses. I sat on my first horse at three, and pretty much never got off (of course, slightly exaggerating here, but not by too much). My first job at the age of sixteen was giving riding lessons to children five and up in exchange for leasing a horse, then leading to owning my first horse. My fondness for this majestic animal took me to later competing in many different categories in English riding. Learning not only the competitive side of the sport, but also the responsibly side of taking care of another life form (heart and soul), dependent on me - competitive horseback riding isn't just a sport, it's a lifestyle - nonstop. Two beings creating a sync of one.

Through every stage of growing up you could find me writing, anything from poetry to short stories, and eventually I worked towards becoming a published author. It’s a very challenging industry (I've received hundreds of rejections over the years), so in the meantime I got into hotel hospitality, working my way up into various managerial roles, all while pursuing my writing career. It was going to happen, and it wasn’t a matter of “if”, it was a matter of when. I worked for two major hotel chains (Sofitel Hotels & Resorts and Starwood Hotels, Resorts & Spas), totaling almost twelve years, before becoming a full-time author. And here I am - four books later! An international author working out of Wall Street in New York with my publisher while currently living in Las Vegas, Nevada with my husband, son, and parents. Being an author is a constant work in progress (I believe we can always improve and be better in our professions), and I couldn't be happier, knowing the sweat and tears I've endured getting to this point.

A huge part of my personality comes from being rooted with a major focus on family, and that principle is found behind a lot of my writing. I am Italian, German, and Russian. While I grew up honoring traditions from all my nationalities, I was mostly raised around my Italian side. We're a large family originating from Sicily and Naples, Italy, involved in each other's lives, passionate and comically animated when talking, and taught to cook in the kitchen as soon as we could walk. Where our parties get louder as the night goes on, not because of drinking or partying, but because one person is trying to be heard over the next until the atmosphere becomes one loud talking fest. All pretty much sums up the characteristics of our heritage - passionate, loving, supportive, family-oriented, talk-with-our-hands, and definitely need-to-be-heard, people. There's a lot of love that's shared through our family's togetherness, and the sense of support with having each other's back is evident.

Another large part of my identity, and if you've been following my blog, and or my social media posts, I'm sure you can tell by now I'm a bit of an old soul, but with a modern twist. I love classic movies and T.V shows just as much as I do current entertainment (anywhere from romance to horror, from comedy to cooking shows). I believe in romance and chivalry (romance book in the making- where Casablanca meets 50 Shades of Grey). I enjoy the music and artists from the 50's, 60's, and 70's (i.e: The Penguins, The Temptations, Dion, Tina Turner throughout her career, most of the Dirty Dancing soundtrack, and some bands during their career like ZZ Top, The Black Crows, and The Rolling Stones) equally the same as I love hip hop and rap (i.e: Nelly, 50 Cent, Flo Rida, Nicky Minaj, Eminem, Notorious B.I.G).

I would say being an old soul has kept me grounded in the sense of a classic love in all things, with tradition laced in, and focusing on the simplicity of happiness - old school, pre-high-tech days. While continuously integrating my thinking into today's day and age. It's a fun combination, once I got the hang of it!

Also, a huge factor in my life, and as you know, the core of Laughing Out of Context is humor - I love to laugh, always have enjoyed the true medicine of life - laughter. So, when you're reading a novel of mine, you'll see the humor weaved throughout. Yes, even in my upcoming horror novel. I have to always have those couple characters who are quick-witted that keeps even the most serious of plots lighthearted at times. There's definitely an art to it, and many say it's unconventional for that genre. But I know it can be done. As I like to say: "My story, my way."

Throughout my poetry and self-help books, as well as my novels, you will find both classically time-honored wording and scenarios mixed in with an edgy side of today's modernity. When you really stop to read between the lines and plots, you will find my personality, core values, and background in everything I write. There's intent behind all of my wording, to always tell more, and teach more, there are multiple hidden gems to be found, when looking.

I now want to take a moment (as the basis of this blog, and Lorax quote) to temporarily put the fun facts aside, to write about the one core reason that ultimately makes me who I am - encompassing my personality, drives me to achieve what I want in life, fuels my writing in self-help, and brings everything together with how I personify myself.

I have a difficult part of my past to bring up, not because I have a hard time talking about it (it’s quite the opposite), but because not many people know. In fact, my story has contributed to helping many succeed in life when I have shared it. There's usually hesitation with anyone when bringing up a challenging part of their past to others, simply because they're afraid of how people might react. That is the reason behind what has always made me hesitant. However, I've decided to integrate my story as part of a small sub-plot in my romance novel (my true story will be at the end), to help others who've had similar struggles as me, or are currently struggling, and feel they have no one to talk to or help them.

Deep breath…this is a big one…here goes nothing.

In short, until my book is released:

If you have not heard of the book, Wasted: A Memoir of Anorexia and Bulimia, or are not familiar with the author, Marya Hornbacher, this is a memoir about her battle with the two eating disorders. The book highlighted two girls as well who suffered from anorexia and bulimia, and how they both overcame them, not only surviving, but going on to thrive in life. One of those two girls in this book was me. Names were changed for privacy.

Even though I work with the fantastic organization, National Eating Disorders Association, NEDA, to raise awareness, and work to get people the help they need, I 've never publicly talked about that very dark time in my teenage years. However, I know that what I have been through with anorexia and bulimia is relatable to a countless number of people - children and adults alike (currently 9% of the U.S population), and success stories are invaluable in helping others fight this awful illness. Being relatable comforts in the power of knowing there’s strength in overcoming your life’s challenges. So, as hard as it is to step outside of my comfort zone, creating a huge vulnerability, I will be telling my story as part of my future book to shed more light on this under-publicized topic. I believe in the message behind the quote from The Lorax - I want to help make things better (and healthier). I hope to be able to save even more people from the eating disorder’s darkness by telling the challenges I went through and my process to success.

For those who've seen one of my mottos that I post from time to time, “When someone says I can’t, I turn around and show them I can” all derived from my battle with anorexia and bulimia. A sneaky illness constantly telling you, you can’t (in every aspect of life), but, after spending several months hooked up to a heart monitor and on bed rest in the amazing Lucile Packard Children’s Hospital Stanford, California, missing Hanukkah, Christmas, New Year’s, and my high school senior prom, and then the subsequent years of mentally and physically recovering, I finally turned around and showed the eating disorders I CAN. 

This is why you'll see the red heart symbol in a lot of my social media posts, books, etc, and most of what I use in my daily life - symbolizing the strength in bringing my heart (and body) back to health, and the fight I know it took to get to that point.

My past is also the reason I integrate a certain message about opinions/judgement into all my books and posts, in that: people will always have their own thoughts about you, some may say mean or rude things (the reality is, there are a certain amount of certifiably cruel people in this world), but also everyone's entitled to have different points of view, just do your best to shake off any negativity. Drown out the white noise. Because many people tend to judge someone off of what they know or see, not knowing what that person has truly been though. "Walk a mile in my shoes," is one of the best idioms in my opinion. It says the most about what humanity should embrace, with exemplifying more kindness and understanding that we all have been through something unpleasant at one time or another.

Knowing I fought off this illness let me know I can fight for anything in life, and turn, “No, you can’t” into, “Yes, I can”. Every individual is stronger than they think - you just need to search for that inner strength. And because of my past, I've worked with two children’s hospital organizations - St. Jude and Children’s Miracle Network Hospitals. I’ve seen what these remarkable organizations do for children and their families, and with having been on the recipient side of a children’s hospital, I want to help where I can, to get our children to be okay. Showing them, “Yes they can, too!”

When you have challenges in life, don't let them define who you are in a negative way, let those obstacles fuel a positive change, to enjoy life and be a guiding light to others.

Over 10,000 people die from an eating disorder every year, and almost 30 million people have suffered from an eating disorder at some point in their life. If you, or someone you know, might be struggling with an eating disorder and has questions, you can message me on one of my platforms, and I'll be more than happy to answer them for you!

Or go to nationaleatingdisorders.org for more information.

Never forget to stay true to who you are, and not live by what you think other people would like, and always remember to keep your identity integrated throughout every single chapter of your life’s journey.

Salute alla vita! Cheers to life!

They're listening: Kids pay attention even when you think they don't

"Little pitchers have big ears." This is a line that always stood out to me from the iconic show I Love Lucy. Lucy's mom was referring to little Ricky, Lucy's son, and how children listen to everything we say.

Now, I know what you all are thinking. "My child doesn't listen to anything I say. I have to repeat myself a million times (slightly exaggerating, but not really) and my child still won't remember me saying something. What do you mean...they listen?"

Believe me, I'm right alongside with you. What I mean, is they are listening to what you're talking about, and seeing what you're doing. They just choose to either pretend not to hear what you've said, choose to acknowledge what was said/or asked, and simply refuse to do it, or my personal favorite, they're so preoccupied by playing that your words simply go in one ear and out the other. All in all, it basically comes down to selective hearing - choosing what they want to hear.

There's a scenario I would have like to shed some light on (and giggles) that didn't make it into Laughing Out of Context in time, and it's a good one to know - kids are watching and listening to your every move, even when you think they're not.

One day my cousin and his wife noticed a charge on their credit card statement that neither of them made. It was for three-hundred dollars from Roblox. They knew their eight-year-old daughter played a little Roblox on my cousin's computer (one of them was with her a lot of the times when she was playing), so they thought someone may have hacked into their personal information or something using that IP address.

So that night him and his wife sat down and talked with their daughter, letting her know she wouldn't be able to play on Roblox for a while till they figured out what was going on with a charge that was made to their credit card, from Roblox. My cousin's intro to their conversation was cut short by a completely unforeseen situation.

"I put your card number in to get Robux," she said.

"What?" My cousin's wife practically shrieked.

"I see you putting your card number in the computer all the time, and you just get stuff sent to you," their daughter explained, obviously very innocent in the matter. "All you have to do is give the number, right? And you get want you want..." she trailed off, quietly. Seeing her parent's shocked expressions, she knew she did something bad.

My cousin and his wife both looked at each other in disbelief, realizing eyes had been on them with the credit card buying process, but failed in thinking they needed to bring up how using a card works.

"I put all the numbers into the computer that I see you do, so I can get Robux, that I wanted," she explained. "I just went to the checkout screen. It was easy. Like when you do it."

My cousin told me it seemed like forever that him and his wife blankly stared at her, both wondering the same thing of, when had she been watching them buy things online. And how in the world did she know what all the fields meant when filling out the checkout screen.

"I needed to get assets for the game," she added, very business-like, as my cousin described it. Clearly, she took the game seriously.

They had to thoroughly explain how it worked when making purchases with a credit card, and that it's not really a magic card, as she had referred to it. "Just show the number and people want to give you things," she had said in awe, looking up, smiling.

Both him and his wife weren't upset, especially seeing how bad their daughter felt. She's a good kid, a really good kid, and buying things with her parent's money without permission, isn't something she'd knowingly do.

Not just they know that, but I do too.

Although, they did work in their conversation about not taking anything out of her mother's purse without asking permission, moving forward.

After the fact, my cousin told me that him and his wife ended up laughing about the whole situation later, because they wouldn't have believed it if it didn't happen to them. Their daughter simply thought she was sharing in the "magic" card fun.

Unimaginable, the little situations that arise, which parents would have never thought possible.

This was a Mama Mia (mom from Laughing Out of Context) hand-slap-to-the-forehead moment. An I-never-would've-seen-this-coming moment. Above all, a financial-parenting-lesson-learned moment. In my cousin and his wife's case...a three-hundred-dollar lesson learned.

In conclusion to this scenario, basically, stay alert at all times, you never know when your children are watching (and if they're not watching, they're listening), and remember to keep that hypothetical detective hat close by at all times.

May the force be with you in bobbing and weaving through all unordinary parenthood scenarios - you got this!

Don't sweat the small stuff: Little things add up quickly

God grant me the serenity

to accept the things I cannot change;

courage to change the things I can;

And the wisdom to know the difference.

This is the beginning of the Serenity Prayer, and something my grandmother used to always recite to me. As a reminder to let certain things go, and not to stress about situations you have no control over. Basically, choose your battles, and lighten your mental load.

Easier said than done, I know.

There's one post I shared on social media about being grateful for the small things. It really made me think of how us as individuals sweat the small stuff, when in reality, we should alter our thinking to spend our time being appreciative of those things, instead of stressed.

Post:

10 Signs You're Doing Well in Life:

1 - You have a roof over your head

2 - You ate today

3 - You have a good heart

4 - You wish good for others

5 - You have clean water

6 - Someone cares for you

7 - You strive to be better

8 - You have clean clothes

9 - You have a dream

10 - You're breathing

It's hard in today's day and age to be patient, stop and smell the roses (so to speak), and concentrate on the bigger picture. Being the world is now in a technology forward way of life, with no looking back, we're constantly faced with newer and faster ways to live out our daily routines. It's easy to stress when something doesn't go right, or the internet is lagging, because basically we depend on technology, so then our normal everyday duties come to have a downward domino effect. Resulting in sweating the small stuff, because essentially, the tiny situations become bigger.

When I start to feel overwhelmed from circumstances that I know shouldn't be made into something larger than they need to be, I'll look back at my "feeling grateful" post. Remind myself of the entire picture of life, and create that moment to stop and appreciate the simple things that easily are taken for granted. On another note, when faced with times of larger situations, I think back to my grandmother and what she would recite from the Serenity Prayer, making sure I prioritize what needs more mental attention.

Speaking to parents now, what parent doesn't need to lighten their mental load in some area of their life? I know I sure do. Us moms, especially, take on the worrisome truck load for everyone. We feel it's our duty in a way. Even though, it's not, our minds spin a million miles an hour throughout the day, more so when we're not paying attention by focusing on any one thing. Having an overload of compassion, caring, and anything needing (emotional) attention, I think, is just naturally wired in a woman's DNA.

For everyone, a mental stress-reliever is needed, you just need to find what works for you. Maybe it's a quick breathing exercise. Slowly inhale through your nose (count to five), then slowly exhale through your mouth (count to five) - repeat until you feel more relaxed. Maybe your mental break is a walk, a trip to the gym, or a workout session by using the FitOn app I've blogged about.

All of these have worked for me, including...

An unexpected thought process came to light one night when my son was teaching me about space. He showed me a size comparison video (attached below - a must-watch!) about our solar system and universe. This had my full attention in realizing how tiny we actually are in the grand scheme of things - space in its infinite entirety. Making me become aware of how minuet stressing about fairly irrelevant situations are, putting life in perspective.

In my parenting humor book Laughing Out of Context I emphasize the importance of picking and choosing your battles, in all things in life, not just parenting. Reiterating to myself and my readers to not sweat the small stuff and to put matters you can't control to the side, temporarily (depending on what they are).

We are a speck on Earth, that is a speck in the Milky Way, that is a speck in the universe. Don't sweat the small stuff, letting those things consume your life. Make your time count. Make the most of your days. And stay positive however much you can, appreciating the little things.

Food for thought...

There's a great line in one of Pitbull's songs, I Feel Good: "So live life, don't let it live you."

May you shine bright through any challenges you're faced with, and have the strength and courage to change anything you can.

Wishing you the most with living life to the fullest and stressing a little less!